There are times when I am entitled to expect things. There are times when I am entitled to be upset. Only I'm rarely upset in the tragic heroine fashion. When I'm upset, I break things and talk brash. But in those times, I can fully justify my actions which would seem rude, or immature, or uncalled for in hindsight.
And there are times, when I am both so angry and so upset that tears are forced down by the sheer force of anger and anger is mellowed down by the overwhelmed, pent up tears... This category of being upset is the one I hate the most, for I cannot control it myself. It's been long established that there no longer exists any one in my present whom I can openly talk everything out to. Gosh, at these times I miss Aditi so much. Aditi didn't even know me long but she knew just how to get me over it. It was simple really- she would listen.. and she would keep feeding me some sort of energy drink in between my lengthy dialogues. Aditi understood what I was trying to say completely. Not only did she understand, she actually felt the same.. Aditi wasn't one to sympathise, she could empathise with me. I lack such a friend now. There's no shame in admitting that. Only sorrow, a deep, hollow sort of sorrow. I'm so very sick of opinions. I have my own, thank you very much, you guys. And if I ever needed one, I would just ask for it. Why do you have to jump up the minute I finish talking? Couldn't your opinions wait for once? Just once? And if I make the mistake of saying that to any of my "friends" (as they would have themselves called, ironically) they would do exactly that. They would shut up. Not talk at all, let me finish, and have no opinions about it. See what I mean, they'll shut up. And hence end conversation. No hard feelings.
Please, for god's sake, all of you just stop pretending to be so bloody nice. Does you no good, only highlights your darker imperfections... And I have nothing against imperfections, I don't. They only make life more interesting. Which is why, while you all are pretending to be so perfect, I'M GETTING BORED OF IT ALL.
And there are times, when I am both so angry and so upset that tears are forced down by the sheer force of anger and anger is mellowed down by the overwhelmed, pent up tears... This category of being upset is the one I hate the most, for I cannot control it myself. It's been long established that there no longer exists any one in my present whom I can openly talk everything out to. Gosh, at these times I miss Aditi so much. Aditi didn't even know me long but she knew just how to get me over it. It was simple really- she would listen.. and she would keep feeding me some sort of energy drink in between my lengthy dialogues. Aditi understood what I was trying to say completely. Not only did she understand, she actually felt the same.. Aditi wasn't one to sympathise, she could empathise with me. I lack such a friend now. There's no shame in admitting that. Only sorrow, a deep, hollow sort of sorrow. I'm so very sick of opinions. I have my own, thank you very much, you guys. And if I ever needed one, I would just ask for it. Why do you have to jump up the minute I finish talking? Couldn't your opinions wait for once? Just once? And if I make the mistake of saying that to any of my "friends" (as they would have themselves called, ironically) they would do exactly that. They would shut up. Not talk at all, let me finish, and have no opinions about it. See what I mean, they'll shut up. And hence end conversation. No hard feelings.
Please, for god's sake, all of you just stop pretending to be so bloody nice. Does you no good, only highlights your darker imperfections... And I have nothing against imperfections, I don't. They only make life more interesting. Which is why, while you all are pretending to be so perfect, I'M GETTING BORED OF IT ALL.
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